August 2011
I wrote the screen adaptation of The Ultimate Gift, which shows a grandfather leaving behind legacy videos for his grandson. Each one is an assignment designed to teach him something, with the hope that this spoiled kid, Jason, will become a better person. A person who could then get outside of himself and help others in the world.
The grandfather, Red Stevens (played by James Garner in the film) knew he didn’t have enough time left to help this young man change while he was alive. So he recorded the videos in one day, knowing they’d be watched over time. It was time he personally didn’t have; he was dying.
During the writing process, as getting into the grandson’s head to write his journey, I was struck by how frustrated I felt in penning his dilemma. I’d feel a range of emotions, of a kid who was on such a big journey with a person he’d been at odds with, who wasn’t even alive anymore to confront, to talk to, to challenge, to ask questions.
Before you can think about what legacy you want to leave, remember the legacies of those that came before you. There's no better way to find out who you really are.
In many cultures, particularly indigenous ones, connecting with and honoring ancestors is a way of life. Think of the Navajo, who, before making any decision that affects their family or community, consult with the seven generations that came before them. Or consider Mexico’s Day of the Dead, when families welcome ancestors back into their homes and visit their loved ones’ graves. In both cases, although ancestors are no longer in their bodies, their spirit is thought to be very much alive and awake.
In our American culture, we don't tend to think of ancestors in the same way. During our lifetime, many of us uproot ourselves from our hometowns and families, moving across the nation or the world in search of careers or love or ourselves. Outside of perhaps our immediate family, we barely keep in touch with our living relatives, much less those who have passed on. Psychologists, sociologists, religious leaders, and elders all agree that this isolation and displacement from our roots is to blame for many personal and cultural ills.
It doesn't have to be like this. Now more than ever, it's incredibly easy — and personally satisfying — to learn who you ancestors were, where they lived and what mattered to them. Most of this information can be found within a few clicks of the Internet.
Say you're like me, though, and don’t have dozens of hours to devote to genealogy sites, hunting down random names, dates and Census reports. If you're not keen on joining Ancestry.com or any of the other countless sites out there, here are simple ways you can connect with the lives and stories of your ancestors:
The name of this website was inspired by a quotation from author Tim Kimmel: "You've been given a piece of history in advance — a gracious gift you send to a time you will not see."
When we think of legacy, it may be that we think of our estate, our financial arrangements, etc. But the "piece of history," the "gracious gift" we are encouraging you to consider is not a monetary legacy, but a legacy of values: those priceless intangibles — all that we have learned, all that we have overcome, all that matters most to us .... and to those who follow in our footsteps.
Will you follow the path of ancient wisdom?
Hear this, you elders;
listen, all who live in the land.
Has anything like this ever happened in your days
or in the days of your forefathers?
Tell it to your children,
and let your children tell it to their children,
and their children to the next generation.
The journey ahead of you is a long one. But the reward which awaits you and which awaits your future generations is the planting of a heritage with lasting significance.
There is no doubt that you will send a legacy to future generations. The question that must be answered is, "What legacy will you send?"
Dave Dias
Michael Corwin
John Erik Fraker
Dr. John Townsend
Cheryl McKay
